That time I almost killed someone.

Okay, I never really almost killed anyone. (Unless you count that time I hit a guy at a crosswalk when I was 16. Calm down, I was only going 2 mph and he dramatically rolled up on my hood, then looked at me and laughed. MAYBE he shouldn't have ran in front of my car while it was moving. JUST SAYING.)

Anyways, the person I'm almost killing is me. I'm killing myself by remaining unhealthy. I know that. And I'm not proud of myself. Let me do some explaining.

You see, that first week of Paleo was great, y'all. I lost 10 pounds and I was feeling good. Except, I wasn't. You see, just because I'm eating healthy and losing weight, doesn't mean what's inside me feels great. And that's the part you don't see when you look at someone you find to be fat and obese. (for example, check out the work by Julia Kozerski [NSFW])

The first week, I hated most of the food. I was unhappy at every meal because I missed the flavors I'm used to and I would just cry over the change. This then transitioned into the second week of Paleo when I decided to do one of two things: I would either skip my meals - or I would cheat horribly. Which, of course, would then spark the inner voice telling me what an awful failure I am. And how I'm just letting not only myself, but everyone down.

You know, I wanted to start a weight loss blog and share my journey with you guys. But then when I start to do what I consider failing, I don't want to blog anymore because I feel like you guys don't want to hear that stuff. BUT then I remind myself why I actually did start this blog. I started it so that everyone has a glimpse of a REAL weight loss journey. A reminder that you really don't know everyone's journey and that it isn't as easy as "JUST DO IT", like several people I know seem to think it is.

The good news is that I've managed to keep off 6 of the 10 pounds I've lost.

So after much much much discussion with my husband we came to this conclusion: There is no fast track. There is nothing we can do- other than getting up every day, eat as healthy as we can and move. MOVE. We are still going to use Paleo as a base for our plan, but we aren't going to be so hard on ourselves. We are going to try to do some just basic gluten free stuff or hell, if we want a piece of cake, we are going to have one and we aren't going to kill ourselves over it. We are going to learn to eat ONE serving...instead of the 4 we eat every time we sit down. But mostly? We are going to take it one day at a time.

We can do this. We can all do this. But it takes much more than you think it does, so be positive and be supportive of each other. Don't allow negativity and don't allow people to sabotage you. Don't sabotage yourself. Most importantly? Breathe. Just breathe.