Wow, how things have changed since my post in April. In fact, since that post in April, I've lost 70 pounds. SEVENTY. I also had my gastric bypass surgery on September 30th!
I have to be honest, I used to be one of those people who thought that people who had weight loss surgery were insane. I even viewed it as "cheating" or "taking the easy way out". For that, I apologize to the world and those who have had it. I was so very, very, very wrong. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Prior to having my surgery, I was required by my insurance to have 6 months of a doctor supervised diet. I was so annoyed by that, because I was just ready to get this over with. I've been dieting for a million years, I've tried everything. But now, I am so thankful that I was required to do that. It gave me time to mentally prepare and physically prepare. I lost 55 pounds. It was a long battle with food. A battle I have been fighting most of my life. Trying to mentally let go of the addiction. Something I still haven't been able to let go of. Let me explain.
I had my surgery and was so blessed by so much support from family and friends. I left the hospital in so much pain, but so ready to get this new life started. My wonderful mother stepped up and watched my munchkin and waited on me hand and foot (she even gave me back massages!). The only problem? She still had to eat. My kiddo still had to eat. My husband still had to eat. I could not eat. Nothing. I was on an all liquid, zero calorie diet. (minus the ridiculously disgusting chicken broth I was allowed. barf.) And even though I had literally NO hunger, I cried. I cried because I was stressed, I was in pain, and I couldn't do the one thing I use to comfort myself - eat.
You see, the surgery doesn't change your mind. It only changes your physical insides. The mental battle doesn't end. That, you have to do yourself.
Don't get me wrong here. I am SO HAPPY I had the surgery. I've already lost 15 pounds. I've been forced to get up and move and do things to get my mind off of food. So guess what you guys, my house is clean. SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME, SHOCK ME. (Empire Records? No? Just me?)
This is going to be a long road, but I am so thankful that I had a successful surgery and that I'm healing really well so far. I know that my life is going to drastically change this next year and I know for a fact that I will not be 300 pounds when I turn 30 in January.
I hope you guys follow me on this journey. And I hope you're down for the good and the bad that comes with it. I have never sugar-coated anything on this blog. Oh also, You'll see that I changed the name. Bare with me as I try to find something that really really suits me. So far I'm really liking it.
So here we go:
Starting weight: 391
Surgery weight: 335
Current weight: 319
Adios for now, y'all!
Tab
