It wasn't easy. At all. In fact, I spent most of it crying and feeling like everything was falling apart. I felt like I was making everything harder on everyone and I threw up... a lot. I cried and mourned for the food I wasn't able to eat, and I felt ridiculous doing it. It's amazing how much control food has over me. I literally spend every minute thinking about it.
I remember talking to this one guy at the gym who helps me out with my workouts sometimes. His wife has the sleeve surgery and he told me, "A lot of times my wife forgets to eat!" And as I sit here and think of that, I am jealous. Because I spend every minute thinking of when I'm next allowed to eat.
Now, I'm not always hungry - so I don't eat. I just sit and wonder when my stomach will feel hungry again so I can eat. Insane, I know. I'm aware. This is definitely a journey, and a difficult one.
But, at my appointment - I was given permission to start advancing my diet to how I will be eating for the rest of my life. Lean proteins, then veggies, then if there's room in my tummy left - up to 1/2 cup of fruit.
Can you guess the first question I asked? "Will I be able to have a bite of pie at Thanksgiving and Christmas?"
Answer? Yes. A BITE. haha I'll take it!
My clothes are falling off of me, which is a wonderful problem to have. (until you realize you have to go in public to buy new clothes - and so you look like a wacko while you shop! haha!) In a few more pounds, I'll weigh less than I have since I've been married.
I'm going to get there, you guys. I just know it. I'm determined to get back to a normal way of life, a healthy way of life. It will happen. I've got to stay positive. Thanks for your prayers and constant kind words whenever you guys talk to me! Y'all are a blessing. And thanks for following my journey. <3
Tab
