Guest Blogger: Meet Erin!

Hello, Everyone! Lately I have been off the wagon and very uninspired. So, I decided to reach out to someone who inspires me, my wonderful friend Erin. I asked her to share her story with you guys! Enjoy! 

So, Tabitha asked me to guest blog on her page. First off, I feel like I'm piggy backing on her e-success.No SHAME. But, I digress....

My weight loss journey is similar to all of yours. Years of struggle for the every elusive "perfect size". As a teenager I battled with something like an eating disorder. Being that I was over weight and addicted to food; I felt shame about eating crap food. I'd spend a whole day obsessing about a specific food until around 10 or 11 at night; I'd give in and  I'd finally eat it. Then, I'd just cry and cry about it. I'd beat myself up and inundate myself with negative self talk. Clearly, not a healthy connection with food. This lasted about 3 years. NUTS. I started to work out when I was about 18 years old. Funny thing, I didn't change my diet. I figured -- I'm spending 2 hours in the gym, I deserve to eat a whole medium pizza myself. PURE LOGIC. I worked out on and off for about 4 years with very little intent to do anything but "bring sexy back". I completely missed the whole concept of healthy versus hot. 

So, what's the problem with this line of thinking? Skinny doesn't mean healthy. Skinny means skinny. However, I could not differentiate between the two. I tried every fad diet, diet pill, crazy contortionist exercise problem. I exerperienced SMALL amounts of weight loss success this way. Once I tried Alli, that weight loss pill that was so popular about 5 years ago. I thought, "COOL. I can still eat what I want and this pill will discard the fat." WRONG. I had an unforunate accident where I realized that you can not take Alli, eat crap and trust a fart. Just a little friendly advice for you, if you're considering Alli. DON'T DO IT. So, there's that.

I ran my body into the ground all through college. Working out, eating only when I had time and it was usually fast food. I drank a lot of alcohol thinkingthis lifestyle would be conducive to weight loss. Funny, right?

In August of 2012, shortly after I graduated from College, my body went completely numb from the chest down. I lost all control and feeling in my arms for three months. I was diagnosed with MS (multiple Sclerosis)  at 24 years old. MIND. BLOWN. That struck me in the deepest parts of my soul. Did I cause this to happen with my lifestyle? No one in my family had this. Once again, Mind...blown!

So, after I got use of my hands back, I resigned to never be that helpless again. I started researching different natural ways to treat this disease and find ways to improve my nutrition. I coupled all of that with medication, I found success with the MS and a happy side effect of weight loss. I lost 85 lbs in the first year. Not just that but, I found that health was the main focus. My goal was to avoid being bed ridden, and I found that that brought on fitness and weight loss. What's that? Weight loss was a happy side effect of getting healthy? That's obviously crazy talk. 

 I started going to the gym 5 days a week. (I know that's a lot but, I noticed that movement decreased the MS related pain.) I started to eat "clean". No preservatives, no processed

foods, nothing. I noticed that the healthier I ate, the less my symptoms would show. I know that sounds drastic and some of you are rolling your eyes at me. I hear faint cries of "NO ONE LIVES THAT WAY. THERE'S TEMPTATION EVERYWHERE." You're correct. Living in Texas -- FOOD IS EVERYWHERE. I'm confronted with fat, sugar, calories every corner I turn. The thing about this is that that pizza isn't worth me losing my independence again. That burger isn't worth me losing the ability to do my job.(I'm a sign language interpreter) Eating that fried, gravy dipped, chocolate glazed thing isn't worth taking years from my life.

I'm sure some of you are shaking your head and going "Yeah yeah yeah.How does this apply to me? How can I gain that resolve to lose weight without enduring a life changing event?" That's a hard one to answer. Each person is different, each heart and mind are different. But, I can say this....Losing weight isn't the goal. Like I said, "the perfect size" is elusive. We're constantly searching and aiming to look like women in movies. That bar was set to impossible heights because our genes aren't the same. Our bodies aren't the same. I'm 5'10.5 inches tall. I wear a size 18. I'm wide set, I'm wide boned and built like a lady amazon. I've spent years ashamed of that. Slouching to be shorter. Wearing 15 thousand layers of Spanx to suck in the flab. However, in this journey of health versus skinny "B" status I found that...I'm beautiful the way I am. I'm strong, I'm HEALTHY. I'm fit. I'm not a size 2. I'm not the "perfect size" even after losing a total of 120lbs. Why? The "Perfect size" doesn't exist, but the perfect you does exist. I try every day, I eat food that not only tastes good but is good for me. I'm fit and HAPPY. And guess what? I'm still "fat". I still weigh around 275 lbs. I'm large and in charge and proud of it. Don't get me wrong, I still like crap food....ON OCCASION. I'm not going to lie and say I'm healthy 100% of the time. PSFT. That's laughable. I do, however, aim for healthy 75-80% of the time. That's REALITY. That's manageable. That's a healthy relationship with food and with your body.

So, I rambled on to what end? Just that life is messy, life is imperfect. The "perfect size" doesn't exist because perfection doesn't exist. You live life every day. If you try AT ALL, you are victorious. The goal is to find health, if you lose weight - - HOT FRICKEN DOG. And trust me, you will lose weight. More than that, you'll gain a perspective on life and yourself that will change you from the inside out. When you lose that weight, It may not be to the "perfect size" but you will be beautiful. Why? Because Healthy is beautiful. Healthy is sexy. So, what should we do? Let's "bring healthy back." (insert awkward white girl twerk to the Sexy back)

Thanks for listening, guys. Blessings on your journey. Live life and be happy. :-)