Chocolate Milk

Is it just me, or do some days just need to end with some chocolate milk?

How is everyone? I haven't blogged like normal, with good reason (at least I think so). My littlest foster baby went back to his bio family on Thursday and my heart was very broken. However, guess what? I LOST half a pound at Weight Watchers on Saturday. haha I really did not see that coming, considering I'm pretty sure I ate everything in my house. So YAY!

Beginning weight: 352.6

Current weight: 345.5

Total loss: -7.1 pounds

So let's talk about shopping. Who here loves shopping? I'll tell you the truth. I love shopping because I just want to buy stuff. However, clothes shopping isn't the kind of shopping I want to do. I hate it, LOATHE it. In fact, once upon a time, I was a manager at (I won't name names) a "plus-size ladies store". When I was hired, they send you to one of their other stores to train along side another manager. One of the things you had to do, and I completely understand, is to try on all kinds of their clothes and really get to know the way things fit and work and all that. I totally get it. However, being that they were a plus-sized women's store, you think they would be more sensitive to this fact. I will never forget the first day when they had me try on all different styles of jeans and none of them fit. NOT. ONE. And I cried in the dressing room when the lady had walked off to help someone. Ugh what a nightmare. That's how I feel just even walking into a store, like it is going to end in failure. Isn't that awful? I actually can't even remember a time when I could just walk into a store and feel confident. 

I've noticed that because of this, I don't ever feel like I look pretty, and I don't. Tonight I was wearing sweat pants and a duck dynasty shirt. Hair in a messy ponytail and no makeup. And that makes me so sad to think about, that I make no effort in my day-to-day. And that actually transfers quickly into my attitude about myself in general. And then I end up accusing my husband of not finding me attractive and then he just sits there like a deer in headlights because why am I saying that while he's trying to watch tv in peace? 

So this is going to be my next challenge, get dressed if I go anywhere outside of the house. (I mean obviously I get dressed, I mean not sweatpants and hair up) And if anyone knows me, I don't take selfies, because they drive me nuts, but I will do my best do try to take a selfie to show that this is my challenge this week! 

What things do you do to make yourself feel beautiful? Ways to boost your self esteem? Tell me!