I am so lazy.

In fact, I'm pretty positive I'm the laziest person I know (minus my dog, Wiggles). After spending a few days at my in-laws, I have realized how much I sit all day. My wonderful mother in law spends her days running around the house, serving us and doing all kinds of wonderful things for everyone. When she's not doing that, she's doing her exercises, or fixing herself something healthy to eat (she's lost over 100 pounds on Weight Watchers). And I realize, here I am. Sitting. Not doing anything. Not exercising, not fixing myself healthy food. Not doing anything for anyone, sitting. Maybe sometimes I'm sitting on the floor, playing Legos with my kiddo.

And I think to myself, that's sad. It is so sad that my child is spending all day with me, seeing me sit. This will be the norm in his mind. And that's not okay. Also, I need to get off my butt and exercise. I need to move. MOVE. It was so cold outside today, my MIL couldn't go on a walk like she usually does. Do you know what she did instead? She walked around the house. Seriously. Around the kitchen table, around the living room, down the hall. She walked, and she kept walking. My son followed behind.

I admire my MIL so much for that. She knows what she needs to do to achieve what she wants, and she does it. Sure she has days where she doesn't stick to the plan, but I am more than certain she has more motivated days than others. I know this, because I have seen this woman in action.

Outside of weight loss, she is still moving. She's cooking and doing crafts and she's serving. Oh what a wonderful servant's heart she has. She is the most giving and loving and serving woman I know. She is quite the woman to be admired. Such a Godly woman. A woman who has qualities that I would like to have. Not only do I want to be making my weight loss goals happen, I want to be a servant of God. I want someone to look at me the way I look at her sometimes. Like I am the image of what God would want me to be.

This post turned into a love letter to my MIL it seems, I don't even know if she reads this blog. But, that's not the point really.

Sometimes the change you need to make in yourself isn't just for weight loss, instead it's a change that will effect every move you make, to be for the better.

Guest Blogger: Meet Erin!

Hello, Everyone! Lately I have been off the wagon and very uninspired. So, I decided to reach out to someone who inspires me, my wonderful friend Erin. I asked her to share her story with you guys! Enjoy! 

So, Tabitha asked me to guest blog on her page. First off, I feel like I'm piggy backing on her e-success.No SHAME. But, I digress....

My weight loss journey is similar to all of yours. Years of struggle for the every elusive "perfect size". As a teenager I battled with something like an eating disorder. Being that I was over weight and addicted to food; I felt shame about eating crap food. I'd spend a whole day obsessing about a specific food until around 10 or 11 at night; I'd give in and  I'd finally eat it. Then, I'd just cry and cry about it. I'd beat myself up and inundate myself with negative self talk. Clearly, not a healthy connection with food. This lasted about 3 years. NUTS. I started to work out when I was about 18 years old. Funny thing, I didn't change my diet. I figured -- I'm spending 2 hours in the gym, I deserve to eat a whole medium pizza myself. PURE LOGIC. I worked out on and off for about 4 years with very little intent to do anything but "bring sexy back". I completely missed the whole concept of healthy versus hot. 

So, what's the problem with this line of thinking? Skinny doesn't mean healthy. Skinny means skinny. However, I could not differentiate between the two. I tried every fad diet, diet pill, crazy contortionist exercise problem. I exerperienced SMALL amounts of weight loss success this way. Once I tried Alli, that weight loss pill that was so popular about 5 years ago. I thought, "COOL. I can still eat what I want and this pill will discard the fat." WRONG. I had an unforunate accident where I realized that you can not take Alli, eat crap and trust a fart. Just a little friendly advice for you, if you're considering Alli. DON'T DO IT. So, there's that.

I ran my body into the ground all through college. Working out, eating only when I had time and it was usually fast food. I drank a lot of alcohol thinkingthis lifestyle would be conducive to weight loss. Funny, right?

In August of 2012, shortly after I graduated from College, my body went completely numb from the chest down. I lost all control and feeling in my arms for three months. I was diagnosed with MS (multiple Sclerosis)  at 24 years old. MIND. BLOWN. That struck me in the deepest parts of my soul. Did I cause this to happen with my lifestyle? No one in my family had this. Once again, Mind...blown!

So, after I got use of my hands back, I resigned to never be that helpless again. I started researching different natural ways to treat this disease and find ways to improve my nutrition. I coupled all of that with medication, I found success with the MS and a happy side effect of weight loss. I lost 85 lbs in the first year. Not just that but, I found that health was the main focus. My goal was to avoid being bed ridden, and I found that that brought on fitness and weight loss. What's that? Weight loss was a happy side effect of getting healthy? That's obviously crazy talk. 

 I started going to the gym 5 days a week. (I know that's a lot but, I noticed that movement decreased the MS related pain.) I started to eat "clean". No preservatives, no processed

foods, nothing. I noticed that the healthier I ate, the less my symptoms would show. I know that sounds drastic and some of you are rolling your eyes at me. I hear faint cries of "NO ONE LIVES THAT WAY. THERE'S TEMPTATION EVERYWHERE." You're correct. Living in Texas -- FOOD IS EVERYWHERE. I'm confronted with fat, sugar, calories every corner I turn. The thing about this is that that pizza isn't worth me losing my independence again. That burger isn't worth me losing the ability to do my job.(I'm a sign language interpreter) Eating that fried, gravy dipped, chocolate glazed thing isn't worth taking years from my life.

I'm sure some of you are shaking your head and going "Yeah yeah yeah.How does this apply to me? How can I gain that resolve to lose weight without enduring a life changing event?" That's a hard one to answer. Each person is different, each heart and mind are different. But, I can say this....Losing weight isn't the goal. Like I said, "the perfect size" is elusive. We're constantly searching and aiming to look like women in movies. That bar was set to impossible heights because our genes aren't the same. Our bodies aren't the same. I'm 5'10.5 inches tall. I wear a size 18. I'm wide set, I'm wide boned and built like a lady amazon. I've spent years ashamed of that. Slouching to be shorter. Wearing 15 thousand layers of Spanx to suck in the flab. However, in this journey of health versus skinny "B" status I found that...I'm beautiful the way I am. I'm strong, I'm HEALTHY. I'm fit. I'm not a size 2. I'm not the "perfect size" even after losing a total of 120lbs. Why? The "Perfect size" doesn't exist, but the perfect you does exist. I try every day, I eat food that not only tastes good but is good for me. I'm fit and HAPPY. And guess what? I'm still "fat". I still weigh around 275 lbs. I'm large and in charge and proud of it. Don't get me wrong, I still like crap food....ON OCCASION. I'm not going to lie and say I'm healthy 100% of the time. PSFT. That's laughable. I do, however, aim for healthy 75-80% of the time. That's REALITY. That's manageable. That's a healthy relationship with food and with your body.

So, I rambled on to what end? Just that life is messy, life is imperfect. The "perfect size" doesn't exist because perfection doesn't exist. You live life every day. If you try AT ALL, you are victorious. The goal is to find health, if you lose weight - - HOT FRICKEN DOG. And trust me, you will lose weight. More than that, you'll gain a perspective on life and yourself that will change you from the inside out. When you lose that weight, It may not be to the "perfect size" but you will be beautiful. Why? Because Healthy is beautiful. Healthy is sexy. So, what should we do? Let's "bring healthy back." (insert awkward white girl twerk to the Sexy back)

Thanks for listening, guys. Blessings on your journey. Live life and be happy. :-)

Green Smoothies... Success!

Okay, I totally planned to get stuff to start making green smoothies earlier in the week, but I ended up not being able to do so until yesterday. I am going to be honest with you all, I used to roll my eyes at the people who would upload pictures to Facebook and be like "LOOK HOW HEALTHY I AM! *rolls around in pile of healthy food and green smoothies*" Because how rude for you to do that while I'm trying to shove this cake in my face, for real.

However, I have completely recognized that I do not eat veggies or fruits like I'm supposed to. I mean, I don't mind veggies....I just don't think about them, or feel like making them. And being a person who doesn't eat salad dressing (barf), salads are lost on me. I mean, would you just sit around eating some lettuce? (If you would, stop, it's weird.) So I decided I'd give this a try.

So we went to Costco and stocked up:

 And actually, the first thing we made was some orange sorbet last night!

It was delish and super easy: 2 oranges, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 3 cups of ice. SERIOUSLY. (I bet raspberries or strawberries would be fantastic too!)

Today for breakfast I had an orange & banana smoothie  and some oatmeal. I feel like I used too many oranges, so I would just use one next time and it would be perfect!

Lunch's smoothie was the BEST so far (I mean, I've only made two so do with that what you will)

Apple, Banana, PB smoothie:

1 red apple (minus core)

1 banana

1 tablespoon crunchy peanut butter

1 huge handful of spinach

1 cup of ice

Enjoy!

*Makes 2 mason jars full!*

(I also had veggie pasta with fat-free mozzarella cheese!)

I hope everyone can see from my 'recipe' how easy it is to make these and get your fruits and veggies in for the day! This was a total success and I can't wait to keep making more. (I'm doing them with Breakfast and Lunch)

And guess what else?? I weighed in on Saturday to 3 more pounds lost!

Beginning weight: 352.6

Current weight: 343.6

Total loss: -9 pounds

So tell me, what new healthy thing will you try this week?

Forgetting Fat?

Welcome to my blog! Let me start off with a warning: This is a weight loss blog. This can get emotional, this can get angry, and this could get overwhelmingly happy. If you don't want to be on a roller coaster ride with me, then don't go any farther. I'm not sugar coating anything here. Also, I'm not an English major and I'm not paying anyone to proof read this, so get off me with the correcting of where a comma should be. Nor do I truly care where it should be.

If you do want to be a part of this roller coaster then sit down, strap on your seat belt and hold on tight!

Why is it called Forgetting Fat? (I seriously just typed fart .. awwwwkward)
It's called that, because I would love for the world to forget that word. But, since I know that'll never happen, I'm going to work on me forgetting that word. It's full of hate. I am very overweight. I know this. I don't need the judgmental looks from strangers when I have to squeeze into a chair or when I'm out of breath walking up some stairs. I get it. I'm aware. To call someone 'fat' is hurtful and isn't doing anyone a favor. In fact, let's just clear something up here - calling anyone any hateful name isn't doing anyone any favors. You will NEVER truly know what that person has gone through or how they got there. 

Let me be clear on another thing - I am very aware that I put the food in my mouth. I chose to eat Whataburger several times a week (and sometimes more than once a day). I chose to sit on the couch for hours watching trashy TV shows and eating tubs of ice cream. I'm not crying about how "I didn't know I was getting so big!" "OMG WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??" Not here. Gaining weight is very very much a mental battle, and there are reasons a person gets to that point.

For me, every pound represents the life I've gone through. I didn't wake up one day and say "Let me pack on the pounds, I'd love to not fit in a airplane seat!". Instead, I've turned to food for comfort, spite, anger, happiness, love, and a thousand other feelings. My pounds represent times I was made fun of, or asked when my baby was due (never been pregnant), boys calling me "just a friend", disappointment, failures. They also represent birthday celebrations, and holidays, as well as wonderful date nights. It's an addiction. As I share with you my current weight loss journey, I will also share with you stories of my past journeys and how I got to where I am and to where I'm going.

But here I am, at square one for the hundredth time. And I'm happy to be here.